Aikido means ‘The way of harmony with the energy of the universe.’
How do you usually handle conflict, stressful communications and relationships?
Do you avoid?
Do you become passive-aggressive?
Do you play the victim?
Do you confront?
Do you blend?
Entering and blending is an aspect of mindful communication that is designed to help people break out of habitual reactions to threatening, emotional, or stressful interaction and instead blend with the other’s energy in a way that reduces the conflict and does no harm to you or the other.
Entering and blending involves four steps:
Align- Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, practicing mindful listening and asking for clarification if necessary, as in “I want to understand your point of view better. Tell me more about what’s going on.”
Agree- Find areas you can agree on , as you begin to look in same direction, as in “If I were treated that way, I’d be angry to”, or “I am also disappointed about this situation”, speaking only for yourself.
Redirect- Team up with the other person and work together to find a way to resolve the situation, as in “We’re both disappointed about the situation. What can we do to make it better?”
Resolve- Explore what might be a mutually agreeable compromise, or just agreeing to disagree, as for example, “If I ate out less, could we get a housekeeper so we could spend more time together?”
Entering and blending also presupposes that you are mindful of your own internal state, to begin with. Giving yourself the space to notice first, rather than reacting immediately. Take a moment to breathe and opt out of habitual stressful reactions. (http://minddeep.blogspot.com/2010/06/aikido-of-mindful-communication.html)